After that I had to wear baggy clothes and a hat to try and hide my shame. During finals week I went in took the exams and within fifteen minutes I was gone off campus. Still all my tests came back with 95 or above.
I still got called the f slur by random people on the hallway as I went to class. I sat in the back and got good grades. My teachers worried for me school was my everything.
My folks smiled when they saw straight A’s on the family computer.
Sometimes when I laid in bed at night I seriously considered taking that razor blade and going horizontally instead of diagonally. I thought about that type of stuff a lot actually.
I had nothing – I wasn’t special and school was easy. I hardly studied and played GTA on my PS2 on the weekends. Yes I still have a PS2. It’s all we can afford right now.
The move had been hard. All my friends were back in Mexico. It would only be for a couple of years tho. Then I could go back to my old life. My old friends.
They would all have children and be married – I had to start over.
Art was my passion but I didn’t have the motivation to draw anymore. I hadn’t gone to my art elective and Mr Frederick was nice enough to let me off the leash on mental health stuff. He had a husband and I looked at him as an inspiration.
Music was my second elective. Mr Mason was very forgiving with my guitar skills though.
I wish I could go back.
(continue reading)
Anamnesis 
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